Reality star KristinCavallari just had her bachelorette party, but that didn't stop her fiance, NFLquarterback Jay Cutler, from callingoff the wedding, which got us thinking about the best way to break up. If thingsaren't working, then they just aren't working, and you're better off getting out of a badthing than carrying on with a bad relationship. But whether you've only dated for a fewmonths or you're about to walk down the aisle, breaking up is never easy. In all of myyears having been through so many different kinds of relationships, there’s onecardinal lesson I’ve learned about when they come to an end: Don’t be passiveabout breaking upwith her. Most guys will at some point come across a dead-endrelationship. He is ready for it to be over, ready to be free and single again, butshe is still content in the relationship and committed to keeping it going. When hislove for her fizzles out, a lot of guys will get into the following situation: He realizesthat he doesn’t love her the same way that she loves him, and so he does anything hepossibly can to get her to breakup with him. He spends more and more of his time with his friends or at workinstead of with her. His conversations with her become distant and emotionless. Hecomplains about her incessantly. He becomes argumentative and purposely instigatesfights with her. But this can be a slow and painful journey, because when a woman isin love, she tends to be stubborn and will do whatever she can to keepthe relationship alive. Trying to get her to break up with you is the chicken wayout and will just lead to complications. So learn how to break up with her. Ihave to admit, what I'm about to write is very personal to me because I've been down thisroad so many times before. You've met the girl you think is the perfectwoman. She's perfect in so many ways, yet there's just something missing. Maybe you're nothead-over-heels attracted to her, even though she's very beautiful. There's somethingthat's just not right; it doesn’t click in the way that you want it toclick. You can't figure it out, but you still think to yourself, "God she's great.She's fantastic. She treats me really well." And, after some time, you fall in love withher. But you're not head-over-heels in love. At the same time, however, she reallystarts to fall head-over-heels in love with you. She thinks you're so great that she wantsto build a life with you. On paper, everything may look great, but youknow that something is missing. It's almost like you can't put it into words orexplain it to anybody because whenever you do, everybody tells you how amazing this womanis for you. All of your single friends tell you that they’d love to meet somebodythat great. You agree with them but feel that there needs to be something more -- justsomething that feels more right. And so you're faced with one of thetoughest decisions you'll ever have to make. You have to figure out how to break up with awoman who's in love with you. You go through the angst, the guilt. She’s treated youso well and given you so much that you don't want to hurt her. She’s not goingto understand that you just need to be single again, and that you don't want to seeanybody. You care about her so much that you don't want to see her gethurt if you end the relationship. But the truth of the matter is that you're actually hurting her a lot more by staying in the relationship. As you stay in therelationship hoping that it will die out or hoping that she will eventually break up withyou, she is staying in the relationship hoping that you'll eventually turn the corner andlove her back.Here's how to break up with her gently...
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